Always fall in with what you're asked to accept

Diary of a Runner: The Race…and the Journey

Last weekend, I ran a half-marathon race, a big event where there were well over 2000 runners.  I had just run a half-marathon two weeks before that and was coming off my fastest time to that point.  I knew my training and preparation had me more than ready for the second race; however, you never know what is in store for you race day – so many things are variable, for instance the weather, how many runners are on the course, would my allergies affect my breathing.  So, I’ve taken the attitude to just go out, run, not worry about the time, bask in nature, and enjoy the race.  This attitude had already delivered two personal bests, so it was an effective approach.  When I reached mile marker one and given that I was feeling strong, I visualized myself crossing the finish line at a personal record time.  After that, I took in the beautiful scenery, high-fived some of the children lining the course and ran my race.  This all was energizing, as was the fact that as each mile went by, I was below my target mile split time.  I finished the race with my fastest time ever, three personal records in three consecutive races.

So, what is different between a race and a life journey?  A race has a defined course, a start, mile markers, check points, and a finish line.  It is almost impossible to stray off course, especially with the race marshals directing traffic.  However, in life, it is easy to wander off course, get stuck in place, or even get turned around in the wrong direction.  This is a paradox we all live with as the major difference between a race and a life journey is that there is no defined course.  The journey starts when we are born; it ends when we die.  In between, we have free will to follow whatever direction we want; there is no clear roadmap.  However, life does have mile markers, check points, and race marshals.  Family members, friends, mentors, and teachers keep us on course through their teaching, through their counsel, as a sounding board, and to give us reality checks.  The Universe sends us signs and clues to keep us on course as well as to help us identify and achieve our Life Purposes.  Our dreams also help keep us on course, as do our intuitions and thoughts.  Although each of our life journeys are rarely clear cut, the mile markers and checkpoints are there.  All it takes is to look for the signs, hear the messages, act on intuition, and follow our hearts.

I’m finished racing for the year, but there is next year to look forward to.  I run not only to train for races, but to meditate, be at one with nature, spend quality time with my daughter and friends, and revitalize the soul.  Running not only helps me stay in shape, it also helps me stay on course.  Not everyone is a runner, but everyone has a life journey.  So follow the signs fearlessly and journey onward.

Diary of a Runner - Always Forward

Today I headed to the park like I do every weekend and set out on a seven mile run.  The trail head where I enter the park is behind my daughter’s school and near the track where she used to run in High School.  It turns out today was the local invitational cross-country meet that used to be her first big race of the year.  I fondly remember her running in the race, the cheering, and the beautiful sunny days with a touch of fall in the air.  She set a personal best time three of the four years she ran here, so she was elated when she finished.  Her last race here was four years ago and she is now in her last year of college.  The cross-country course uses the same trail head to enter the park that I use and I had to leap caution tape to access the park.  It was raining gently today and as I ran through the forest, the smells of wet earth, the leaves, and the pines were amplified and delighted the senses, even if I were getting a bit wet.

The nostalgic feeling of being in the park at the same time as the racers, although on different trails sent me into the past.  I thought about the happy times, some deliriously happy; the sad times, regret and remorse over actions that hurt other people, the lessons I learned, the experience I have gained, and the growth I have experienced.  I often thought of turning back the clock to mend the hurt I caused and to re-experience the amazing moments I experienced.  However, time only goes one direction.  Time travel is not possible except in fiction and in the movies.  The river I run along only flows in one direction.  Although it is possible to run backwards, it is far easier to run forward, especially since I run on some hard trails and would likely run into a tree, trip on a root, or run straight into the water, which there is a lot of near the trails.  Therefore, I run forward on the route I choose to run, entering and ending at the same trail head.  So it is also true with our life journeys – they move forward, only forward.  They may take pause for a period of time, but they never move backwards into the past.

As I finished my run, the home cross-country team was removing the ribbons from the race course and most of the crowd had dispersed, along with the energy of a major athletic event.  However, I had my own energy from completing the run, not getting too wet despite the mist, basking in nature, and feeling the endorphins flowing in my blood.  I realize that where I am today is where I am supposed to be and experiencing the full rainbow of emotions is “life.”  Just life.  The most important things to take from the past is the good times, the lessons, and the events that have made me a better person.  The current lessons are simple but effective: live in the present not in the past.  Plan for the future, but don’t waste energy in worrying about the future.  Live the three L’s in the moment: Live, Learn, and Love.  And trust the Universe.

Letting Go

What do you do when something happens, especially something self-induced, that badly shakes you up and hurts another?  In these situations it is always best to have a good friend or family member to confide in.  However, what happens if you don’t have someone to confide in?  If the event is too sensitive or too embarrassing to share?  This is where I am at today, and I face the question of how to find acceptance, closure, and peace when there is no one to talk to about it?  Letting the emotions run through should work, but they ignite other emotions, often stronger.  Escaping the topic or the resulting emotions do not work and only creates more problems. The only thing I can think of to do is “Let go and Let God,” one of the more powerful thoughts that are taught by many of the communal addiction support groups.  What if it is hard to let go?  If the situation can be resolved with an action, immediately take that action.  If the situation can’t be resolved with an action, give it to The Universe and let Her carry the burden.  Worry accomplishes nothing.  Magic thinking accomplishes nothing.  The energy drain is overwhelming if stuck in this spot.  Let go…and use the energy for much more productive activities.  Success in another area will help take the sting out of the disappointment.

Break a heart?  Help to heal two

Leave a mess?  Clean it up better than before

Lose a friend?  Make two new friends

Hurt someone?  Help two others get over their pain

And let go…

Diary of a Runner – Meditation and Letting Go

Today I set out on a seven mile run this morning in our beautiful city park.  Most of the trail I run is on bodies of water – a mill pond, a river, a creek, and a canal.  Today I was alone, not with my chatty daughter, so I enjoyed the scintillations of the water in a very gentle breeze, which stopped at times leading to a mirroring of the landscape.  In the creek, a blue heron was fishing quietly, not something I see every day.  As today was Independence Day, the park was crowded with runners, walkers, people walking dogs, and mountain bikers. Still, I run on some remote trails and can meditate thanks to rhythmic breathing and the cadence of my stride on the trail.

In meditation, you are supposed to let thoughts flow through your mind – in, then out.  I am still practicing that.  Today, the theme that kept on coming into my mind is “letting go.” It seems like such a simple concept. If something negative happens in my life, after processing it the best thing is to accept the lesson learned and to let it go.  However, the pain lingers.  The “what ifs” stream through my head.  This is especially difficult in broken relationships and the finality of death; it is easy to bargain myself into an endless cycle.  The Buddhists practice “letting go” as part of their spiritual journey and to avoid attachment.  When you think of it, over-attachment to anything is bad and can often lead to addiction and result in unhappiness and sickness.

Letting go is the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves.  Letting go allows us to focus on what we currently have in our lives. Letting go allows us to realize our mortality and lets us live our lives as precious gifts.  Every morning I wake up alive, I have a new gift to enjoy and pay forward to those around me.  In the act of meditation, letting go means letting the thoughts, the negative chatter that happens in our heads, the flashbacks leave their message and pass out of our minds, leaving serenity and peace behind.  Practice letting go – and let the pain be replaced by serenity and peace.  

Moonlit Beach

We head down to the oceanside

Reach the calming breaking waves just before sunset

Turning we watch the sun dip behind the horizon

Arm in arm we watch the energizing display

Warm orange rays disappear beyond the horizon

Replaced by a mesmerizing pastel display

Twilight fades the colors as we walk along the shore

Holding hands along the relaxing breaking waves

Just as the color fades the moon peeks over the water

Captivating the eye, freezing us in place

Soft orange color moonlight replaces the darkening sky

As amazing as the beautiful sunset

We dance to the ethereal Moonlight Sonata

Sensual experience as the full moon rises higher

Eyes locked as our bodies squeeze into each other

Passionate kisses, immersing in each other

While quiet ocean sounds fuel the ecstasy

Two souls in union with each other and The Universe

Awaken suddenly from the amazing dream

Finding myself alone, I try to climb back into the dream

Unfortunately the rising sun has other plans for me

As I get myself ready for another day

I know in my heart she is waiting for me if I can just find her

I know I will find her; I feel her waiting for me

GMB

I'm Alive

Writer’s Block Revisited

So I have not written anything and posted it on my blog in months, attributing it to “writer’s block.”  If you look up the term in Merriam Webster’s website, it says writer’s block is “a psychological inhibition preventing a writer from proceeding with a piece;” this managed to provoke me into deep reflection.  Am I prevented from writing by a psychological inhibition?  Somehow that does not feel right.  So what is it then?  Lack of time, laziness, work stress, desire to do other things instead, lack of motivation…  It is too easy to pick one “excuse” and use it to not write.  Do I lack ideas?  Sometimes, but I still come up with a gem or two every week, so I have the ideas.  They often come to me while running or walking outside and then escape me when I get back to a pen and paper.  Still an excuse – I can always write an electronic note on my phone.

So why don’t I write?  My writing days, well at least not work or school related, started rather late in my lifetime, about 9 years ago.  I wrote to process feelings, of which I had many back in the day.  I wrote for recreational reasons.  I wrote to share with friends that appreciated my pieces.  I wrote in search for meaning.  Later, I wrote to express opinions and worked up the courage to post my pieces in social media and blogs.  Many pieces I posted on my Facebook page to help others heal, find insight, and to discover all the amazing things we have on our planet and in our lives, developing quite a readership back in the day.  However, when Facebook went public, they started to view these pages as revenue sources and cut back sharply the number of page followers that would see a given piece, which was discouraging.  I also tried to see if publishing firms would take one of my pieces, but no success.  As I have a day job and other demands on my life, the writing tapered.  Well, not completely as I continued to journal in my electronic diary.

A week ago, I went to my favorite journaling location and opened my laptop.  Journaled a bit.  Had a major revelation.  I was most motivated to write when I wrote from the heart.  When I was centered in the heart, I was able to stream poetry and pretty much anything I set out to write.  I was looking over my journal writings over the last two-plus years and saw that most of the time I was writing from my ego, not the heart.  Ego is the opposite of the heart.  Ego stands in the way of just about every creative ability.  Ego stifles relationships.  Ego stops growth.  Ego deludes us into thinking we are in control when we are not.  Ego deludes us into thinking everything is fine when it is not.  Not surprisingly, in 2017, I posted on my blog a grand total of two, yes, two articles.  Compare that to having three original posts in July 2018, when I was processing a major loss.

In my last post, which was six months ago, it was clear I was writing from the heart.  I was processing the feeling of being blocked, uncertain on which direction to go, but not being able to stay in place.  I wrote in that piece “…Therefore, the most important thing for me right now is to find those blockages and remove them…  Awareness is the key.  More importantly is the realization that The Universe has my back, as well as how important it is to stay awake to the messages.    We all have the power to remove the things that make us feel stuck in place with no clear direction.”  I know intuitively that I will remove writer’s block by writing from the heart and not the ego.  This removes the first barrier; then others I have not already discovered will come into awareness.  Writing may not work for everyone, but we all have activities, exercises, or creative outlets that will help discover these barriers.  Knocking down the walls ultimately leads to improvement in every aspect of our lives.