Diary of a runner, December 27, 2016

Seven miler today in shorts as it was over 50 degrees.  There was still too much ice and slush on the trails, so I had to resort to pavement.  Today I remembered all the running I did over the last four holiday breaks.  2013: runs with my daughter in the park and not a care in the world – just absorbed all the energy.  Not sure of the mileage, but it was perhaps 80% that of the following two years.  2014: was in the midst of a wild, reckless ride leading to a hard fall just into the New Year.  What was going through my mind?  Well, the wild ride…but I also was searching for something – answers, questions, guidance, and I could not see or hear it until I fell.  I ran over 70 miles in 12 days, which is crazy as I normally run 100 miles in a month give or take.  Even when training for a half-marathon this fall, I was averaging about 30 - 35 miles a week.  You could say I was running away from something.  What?  Reality? Demons?  I recovered from the fall and 2015 turned into an amazing year.  Holiday break 2015: runs with my daughter and not a care in the world – just absorbed the energy.  Everything looked to be just fine <complacency?>  I felt like the Energizer Bunny.  67 miles in 11 days.  2016:  I’m back to how I felt in 2014 without the distraction of the wild ride.  I’m searching…seeking…wonder if I am running away from something…or toward it…or through it.  I am still able to absorb nature’s energy, which I badly need.  25.5 miles so far in 4 days; 5 more days to go.  One thing I do know – running has kept me level, balanced, and sane in my very busy life and my complex journey, especially since there were big changes in my life this year.  Seven more miles tomorrow and I will explore what scares me about the future…