On long solo runs, I often meditate, as running is a means
of relaxation for me. Now when you
meditate, you are supposed to let the thoughts pass through you as an observer;
then go back and focus on the peaceful state.
I use my breath to stay centered while I run-meditate. However, I love trail running and on the
trail, it is a bit more difficult to hold that state. There are obstacles like roots and rocks to
dodge – I have learned the hard way that when I’m not paying attention, next
thing I know I am picking myself up off the ground, brushing off the dirt, and
nursing my scraped knees. There are also
hikers, runners, and mountain bikers to keep an eye on as well as the poison
ivy on both sides of the trail. Not exactly,
the ideal place to meditate for sure, therefore the thoughts stream
relentlessly.
I have suffered much loss over the past year: the ending of
a long-term relationship that ended the most amazing experience of my life, the
death of a close relative, incapacitating sickness of another close relative, and
close friends moving out of the country.
Many endings, much grieving. I
sometimes wonder if I run so many miles per week to run away from it all. Other times I speculate that I run to ponder
the meaning of it all. Yet, could it be
that I am running toward a fresh, new beginning?
All runs have a start, a middle, and a finish. The anticipation of what new experiences I
will enjoy as I run in my favorite settings.
The run itself. The ending,
enjoying the self-satisfaction of completing my goal. In a race, I measure my performance against
my pre-race goals – joy at a personal record, the disappointment of falling
short. Yet there will be another run,
another race, another journey, a new beginning.
Loss is an ending that sets us up for renewal, which likely will be be
more amazing than before the losses. New
people to meet, new friends to make, new experiences to behold, new places to
travel to, new trails to run, and new opportunities for personal bests.
This is why I run. It
is representative of my life journey and a reminder to stay grounded and focus
on the present moment. Starting and
finish lines are but milestones on the journey.
An amazing journey it has been…and will continue to be. So journey on.
~G
