Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Diary of a Runner: Pondering the Journey




On long solo runs, I often meditate, as running is a means of relaxation for me.  Now when you meditate, you are supposed to let the thoughts pass through you as an observer; then go back and focus on the peaceful state.  I use my breath to stay centered while I run-meditate.  However, I love trail running and on the trail, it is a bit more difficult to hold that state.  There are obstacles like roots and rocks to dodge – I have learned the hard way that when I’m not paying attention, next thing I know I am picking myself up off the ground, brushing off the dirt, and nursing my scraped knees.  There are also hikers, runners, and mountain bikers to keep an eye on as well as the poison ivy on both sides of the trail.  Not exactly, the ideal place to meditate for sure, therefore the thoughts stream relentlessly.

I have suffered much loss over the past year: the ending of a long-term relationship that ended the most amazing experience of my life, the death of a close relative, incapacitating sickness of another close relative, and close friends moving out of the country.  Many endings, much grieving.  I sometimes wonder if I run so many miles per week to run away from it all.  Other times I speculate that I run to ponder the meaning of it all.  Yet, could it be that I am running toward a fresh, new beginning?

All runs have a start, a middle, and a finish.  The anticipation of what new experiences I will enjoy as I run in my favorite settings.  The run itself.  The ending, enjoying the self-satisfaction of completing my goal.  In a race, I measure my performance against my pre-race goals – joy at a personal record, the disappointment of falling short.  Yet there will be another run, another race, another journey, a new beginning.  Loss is an ending that sets us up for renewal, which likely will be be more amazing than before the losses.  New people to meet, new friends to make, new experiences to behold, new places to travel to, new trails to run, and new opportunities for personal bests.

This is why I run.  It is representative of my life journey and a reminder to stay grounded and focus on the present moment.  Starting and finish lines are but milestones on the journey.  An amazing journey it has been…and will continue to be.  So journey on.

~G

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