On February
27, 2012 in Ohio, a school shooting left three teenagers dead and another two
wounded.
The incident brings back
memories of the 1993 Columbine, CO massacre, where two armed students with a
history of being bullied killed 12 students and a teacher before taking their
own lives.
Despite conflicting stories
whether it was a factor in the Ohio shooting, bullying has again been brought
into the national spotlight.
[1,2,3]
Bullying today has become even more widespread
under the guise of cyberbullying, where social media such as Facebook and
handheld communications devices provide the bully ready access to a wide
audience.
In response, school systems
have engaged in comprehensive programs to address the issue; unfortunately
these programs have had at best limited results.
[4]
One
major factor is that bullying is not just a phenomenon experienced by our
youth, it is a more pervasive problem that has roots within our very society.
Back in the 1970’s,
when I was a teenager, bullying was accepted as part of growing up.
Being tall, thin, and shy, I was often bullied.
When bringing up the issue with my parents,
friends, or others, it would be treated with denial, advice to get a backbone
or to ignore it, visits to the doctor to find out what was wrong with me, or advice
that it was just part of the growing process.
I reacted to the situation by further withdrawing from others; however,
I diligently exercised in the hopes of one day being strong enough to take
matters into my own hands.
As I grew
older, things got better; however, while being bullied, I was depressed and
always felt something was wrong with me.
These self-esteem issues went deep into my adulthood.
Today,
awareness of the damaging effects of bullying is widespread and measures are
being taken in our educational system to address the issue.
These measures are largely ineffective
because they address the symptoms, not the causes of the behavior.
On a daily basis, it is reported that about 60%
of all youth witness bullying.
[5]
Although children are encouraged to report incidences
of the behavior, they are reluctant to, fearing revenge from the bully or
succumbing to peer pressure.
Punitive
measures only serve to have the bully be more careful about not getting caught,
for instance, by bullying outside of school hours.
Because bullying often increases the bully’s
self-esteem and gives them a positive rush, they feel that the perceived
benefits are worth the risk of being punished.
[6]
Eventually, tragedy strikes
through a high-profile suicide attempt or an act of violence.
The tragedy in these cases is that the victim
sees no way out except through violence or suicide.
The larger tragedy is the enormous cost to
society, as bullied children manifest depression, illness, poor school
performance, social dysfunction, and aggression toward others.
In the latter case, the victim ironically
becomes a bully.
[7]
Bullying
behavior, not surprisingly, is influenced by the bully’s family
environment.
According to Dr. Peter
Sheras, 40% of bullies are themselves victims of bullying, often at home.
[8]
The UCLA Psychology Department adds that
bullies tend to come from family situations where empathy is lacking and
problems are dealt with through physical punishment.
They therefore learn behaviors modeling their
home environment.
[9]
Some bullies come from families where the
parents are too permissive and don’t correct their child’s behavior.
Others have parents that are emotionally absent
from their lives or, especially in single-parent families, where the parent
does not have the time to teach the child proper behavior.
These children conclude that because they
aren’t punished that the behavior is acceptable.
The home situation may be heavily influenced
by divorce or a parent suffering from one or more additions.
[10,11]
Parents may argue in front of their children and the child may witness
one of their parents bullying the other.
Other parents may be openly prejudiced toward people that are different
from them or that don’t share their views.
Parents often have high expectations of their children in sports or
academics and may encourage them, either consciously or unconsciously to keep
other children in an inferior position.
In witnessing lack of empathy and compassion from their parents toward
others, the child fails to learn compassion themselves, often resulting in
bullying behavior.
[12]
In many
ways, bullying is inherent in our society.
Children’s shows and cartoons often depict acts of bullying.
Last year, Foster the People had a top-ten
song on the international charts describing a youth victim out for revenge:
“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run, better run, outrun
my gun.”
[13,14]
Every day, the ubiquitous media overwhelms
our children with information.
High-profile celebrities squabble with other people.
The daily news shows people not getting along
with each other, often in a violent fashion.
Certain countries, for instance North Korea and Iran, emulate bullying
on the international scale.
During
political elections in the United States, candidates run negative
advertisements and smear campaigns against other candidates.
Certain political movements even promote
bullying.
A member of the Tea Party,
Rich Swier, in response to a statistic that 77% of all victims of bullying were
picked on due to their sexual orientation, either actual or perceived, retorted
“This is not bullying. It is peer pressure and is healthy.”
[15]
Humans have
the innate desire to affiliate into groups with others in which they have
something in common.
This attribute
unfortunately promotes an “us vs. them” mentality.
As a result, children sometimes bully in
groups, even though they may not bully when alone.
This behavior is often spurred on by peer
pressure.
[16]
The tendency toward bullying not only
manifests with our youth, but within our society at large.
The pervasiveness of the “bully culture” in
the U.S. is the subject of an article posted on DiversityInc, where Pier M.
Forni, author of “The Civility Solution: What to Do When People are Rude” and
director of The Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins University is quoted as
saying:
“In today’s America, incivility is on
prominent display: in the schools, where bullying is pervasive; in the
workplace, where an increasing number are more stressed out by coworkers than
their jobs; on the roads, where road rage maims and kills; in politics, where
strident intolerance takes the place of earnest dialogue; and on the web, where
many check their inhibitions at the digital door.” [17]
Psychologist
Dr. Gary Namie, cofounder of the Washington non-profit Workplace Bullying
Institute, expresses his frustration at the problem:
“How in the world can we stop bullying
in schools, in the workplace, in politics, when it is so close to our national
character right now?” [18]
Admittedly,
this is not an easy problem to address.
The best measures will work from bottom up, starting at the family
level.
Avoiding discriminatory comments
and treating all members of the human race with compassion will set a good role
model for our children.
It is so
important that parents make themselves emotionally available to their children,
especially during their teen years.
Bullied children need to feel safe, feel that the parent cares, and that
the parent will support the child in addressing the issue.
Parents need to address any observed bullying
behavior in their children or, for that matter, family and friends in a manner
that they realize that the behavior will not be tolerated.
Recognizing that all other individuals,
regardless of their differences, are fellow members of humanity worthy of love
and respect will put us in the right frame of mind to avoid bullying and
discriminatory behavior, especially during stressful moments in the workplace
and in the hustle and bustle of life.
In
our societal actions, it is critical not to reward others for bully behavior,
especially given the upcoming national election in the U.S.
Only by living by the adage “think
globally…act locally” will humanity start to change the “bully” culture toward
a culture centered on compassion and love.
References:
1.
http://www.edgeonthenet.com/news/national/news/130541/ohio_high_school_shooter_may_have_been_a_victim_of_bullying
2.
http://news.yahoo.com/no-bullying-chardon-ohio-high-school-shooting-despite-184800580.html
3.
http://history1900s.about.com/od/famouscrimesscandals/a/columbine.htm
4.
Swearer, et.al, “What Can Be Done About
School Bullying? Linking Research to Educational Practice,”
Educational Researcher, (2010) Vol. 39,
No. 1, pp. 38–47
5.
http://www.americanspcc.com/education/bullying/
6.
http://smhp.psych.ucla.edu/hottopic/hottopic(bullying).htm
7.
http://www.americanspcc.com/education/bullying/
8.
http://www.byparents-forparents.com/causesbullies.html
9.
See A1.
10.
http://www.drlaurablog.com/2010/07/28/underlying-cause-of-bullying/
11.
See 8.
12.
http://www.byparents-forparents.com/causesbullies.html
13.
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=22941
14.
Mark Foster, “Pumped Up Kicks,” performed
by Foster the People.
15.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/category/people/rich-swier
16.
See A1.
17.
http://diversityinc.com/investigative-series/the-culture-of-bullying-loss-of-civility-at-school-work-politics/
18.
Ibid.
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